Monday, September 19, 2011

Spooning leads to Forking

Going out for a jog has always manages to clear my head.  I swear the way my brain works is like a freaking metronome. MEGA ORGANIZED- at work,  for example I play a game with myself to see if I can take a tables full order by memory on a super busy day just to see if I can remember everything.


I've spent a lot of time at home lately... Im really good at isolating myself from the world & idk if thats a good thing.  Not saying Im a loner, lol I think its silly when people claim themselves to be loners when they're over  20.  What are you a pre-teen locked up in your room bc your mad at your parents?? lol but really everyone needs to surround themselves w/ genuine friends at some point, its healthy.  So is spending time alone but you have to find a good balance.

So back to today's theme.  Like in friendships, when you are attracted to a person sometimes that leads to something can go blossom beyond a friendship into a relationship or it can simply turn sour.  So when and if you decide to spoon, be very aware it may lead to forking -be ready to deal w/ the consequences.

In my case I have a bad habit of drawing people in then pushing myself away.  In the midst of scrambling & working to reach certain goals & aspirations, Ive managed to push away a lot of incredible friendships and this is one of my biggest flaws.  It's pretty fucking selfish.  This applies to friendships in general too not just men...Im notorious for avoiding phone calls and texts & its not that I dont want to see and enjoy time with people, its just very easy for me to entertain myself & I tend to get caught up in my own virtual world of music and blogging.
   I remember  friends would ask my why I didnt start to DJ being around the scene as much as I was & but I just knew once I picked it up it would become addicting.  I have a slight addictive personality which can be a double edged sword. wow cool story babe.
  I actually dont have a cool story like all the ol school cool cats do of lugging around boxes full o vinyl (respect to all my vinyl players btw)  but I did make a shit ton of mix tapes on cassettes for school recitals growing up.  I was super stoked when I got the double deck cassette player bc I could combine songs by pushing pause & record and combine songs perfectly.  Then in high school I moved onto using audacity to make mixes on cds for me to run to and for dance routines for our dance crew.  I would be jogging and I still do this to this day- but Ill be listening to a track and as its finishing or starting & my brain automatically thinks of how another song may blend into that one of if I add certain sounds how it may make it better.  Im talking very basic- could make this technical but I dont want to bore you...if your still reading woooo almost done & thank you.  So....then I got a torrent version of traktor until I saved up enough money to buy my own equipment and have been hooked ever sense.

I love it, I love music and I love downloading it. Playing around w/it and blending it.  I cant even explain the adrenaline rush I get when Im playing around getting  a set ready and all of a sudden two tracks combine so perfectly like hands interlocking and sound like they were meant to be together, match made in heaven sorta deal.  It excites me to think of the crowds reaction to it and wonder what the producer will think of their track combined into the next. idk basically I spooned with music and now Im forking with it.  but good thing is...I know what I need to do next and Im ready for the consequences. =)  At least I have control over my music.  Not that imma control freak but I know what I want and how to attain it.

Now as far as finding someone to really spoon n fork with lol -Ill leave that up to destiny or fate- but its gotta be someone who will be patient enough with me and willing to keep me entertained...but until then...Im not single, Im simply busy doing what I love; chasing a dream- cheesy ass shit I know, but you get the idea.

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